Finding out that your husband or wife has been unfaithful may feel like you were just hit with a ton of bricks. The foundation of your marriage may then be shaken, and you may be unsure whether you want to consider staying together. If there is any part of you that wants to try and work through it, then it is recommended that you seek marriage counseling for support. Navigating the murky waters of infidelity can be painful and very challenging, so receiving guidance from an experienced therapist can make all the difference.
Accepting Your Emotions
In the wake of finding out that your partner has cheated, you may be experiencing several intense and painful feelings, such as confusion, depression, shock, pain, and anger. Your marriage counselor may encourage you to accept your emotions during this time, and that you may feel up and down for a while. Even if you are working on forgiving your partner, you may still have feelings of mistrust and heartache. It is okay to grieve the relationship and what has happened, as the marriage you once had has been broken and now you must reestablish the foundation together.
Giving Yourself TLC
Along with an emotional response, you may also have physical reactions to the infidelity news. You may have sleep problems (where you sleep too much or not enough), nausea, trouble concentrating, overeating, not eating enough, etc. After the initial shock has receded, focus on taking care of your body through eating healthy, sticking to your schedule, trying to get regular hours of sleep, drinking water, and exercising everyday. Your marriage counselor may also let you know that despite this difficult time, it is okay to allow yourself some fun, too.
Fighting Off Feelings of Revenge
Finding out that your partner betrayed you can result in anger, rage, and the temptation to seek revenge by committing infidelity as well. In this state of mind, you may want to punish your partner by having an affair of your own. While this may produce temporary satisfaction, it may ultimately work against rebuilding your marriage since now you will have two incidents of cheating to work through.
Attending Marriage Counseling
Before you decide whether to end your marriage or not, it can help to meet with a couples therapist. A therapist will be a neutral party, unlike friends and family who may take sides, and can help you understand why the infidelity happened. During counseling, both you and your partner can open up about your feelings while in the presence of an unbiased professional. A therapist, like a therapist in Palatine, IL from Lotus Wellness Center, can help guide you along the path of healing, if you so wish to continue your marriage. You can learn how to communicate better, process difficult feelings, and decide whether your future is going to include the other person or not. Attending marriage counseling is worth a try, as healing from acts of cheating can be painful to do alone.